


Lingering Pain

by scurvycorn



Category: Blur (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Binge Drinking, Drug Use, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Gramon, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-08-27 03:02:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16694200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scurvycorn/pseuds/scurvycorn
Summary: Graham doesn't show up for practice and Damon decides to check up on him.





	Lingering Pain

**Author's Note:**

> My attempt at writing some Gramon also I finally made a fan account for blur so yeah here: https://www.instagram.com/50shadesofblur/

Today had been busy and hectic. Not only did they need to get most of their recording done, but their guitarist was nowhere to be found. His sudden disappearance caused a good amount of stress and worry for the band. Luckily, the backups were able to fill in for the guitarist. Damon was sitting in the corner of the studio, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. He was worried―Worried about Graham, to be specific. It wasn’t like him to not show up to a recording session. Something was definitely wrong. Every minute that passed by felt like hours. More hours of worry and fatigue. What if Graham was in trouble? What if he needed help? All these thoughts rushed into his head. Worst of all, what if it was because of him? 

“Damon, you alright?” Alex snapped the singer out of his thoughts. Damon suddenly jumped out of his chair.

“Oh yeah, don’t worry mate, I’m fine,” He gave the bassist a warm―but fake smile. “Just thinking about the album, that’s all,”

“Do you think Graham’s okay? He hasn’t shown up all day and to be honest Dave and I are getting pretty nervous,” Alex took a drag from his cigarette and puffed the smoke out his nostrils. “Guy’s pretty sensitive y’know?”

Damon sighed and stood up from his seat “I-I’m going to go see if he’s alright,” He said, grabbing his jean jacket from the couch behind him. Alex snorted and took another long drag.

“Land yourself a shag, eh?” He joked. Damon furrowed his eyebrows at the young man and frowned.

“This is serious James,” Were the last words Damon said before walking out the studio, downstairs into the main lobby, and outside the building. Fortunately, the guitarist’s home wasn’t too far so he didn’t have to take a cab. In the span of fewer than five minutes, Damon found himself knocking at Graham’s door. Nothing came from the other side. He tried ringing the doorbell this time. Still Nothing. Tired of waiting Damon decided to check if the door was unlocked, so he twisted the doorknob. And to his surprise, it was open. Damon shoved the door open and took a big step into the somber building. It was unusual; There were wine bottles all over the living area, not to mention the kitchen counter. On top of that, the curtains were drawn, they were never drawn. Graham wasn't a neat person but he liked to keep his place tidy. Damon sensed that something was wrong. On another note, the guitarist was nowhere to be seen. Damon checked all the rooms downstairs, but he didn't find him. So he assumed he must be upstairs in his room. 

"Graham? You in there?" Damon softly knocked on the guitarist's door "It's me, Damon, I've come to check up on ya," There came no answer from the other side of the wooden door. He waited another good minute. "Graham, if you're not going to let me in," He pushed the door open "Then I'm letting myself in,"

Graham was sprawled out on his bed, resting on his stomach, with his head inside his arms. A few bottles of wine were sitting on the nightstand, two out of three were empty. In addition to that, an empty bottle of pills was on the floor. Damon sighed and sat next to the younger man.

"Gra? Gra are you okay?" No reply. "Graham, you're going to need to explain yourself eventually," The singer put a hand on his back, giving him soft rubs. "Please, I want to see your face," Damon smiled and began tickling his neck

"D-Damon stop, I don't, I didn't want―I don't want to play y-your games," Graham's voice was drained and lifeless. He didn't sound like himself. "S-stop worryin' and treatin' me like a child,"

"Graham, you haven't shown up to the studio today, of course, I have to worry," He scooted closer to the younger man, unsure of what else to do. He looked at the wine bottles and the pills scattered all over the nightstand. "Have you been drinking this whole time Gra? You know how I feel about that,"

"Damon, I told you, I'm fine,"

"You know you can always talk to me, I won't judge ya,"

"I'm fine,"

"C'mon, Gra, I'm here for you," Damon carded his fingers through the brunette's long, soft hair "Please talk to me,"

"I'm f―"

"Graham," Damon interrupted.

"I said I'm fine, piss off will you!" The guitarist's head rose from his arm as he scolded the older man. Damon winced when he saw his bandmate's face. His eyes were swollen, red, wet and puffy. Tears were streaming down his cheeks―which were all red. He had bags under his eyes, probably because he hasn't slept in a while. Graham gave Damon a melancholic stare. He sat up and pulled his knees to his chest and wiped his tears away. "M' sorry..."

"Gra, what's going on?" Damon snaked an arm around his shoulders "Having the nightmares again?" The guitarist shook his head.

"No,"

"Then what could be bothering you this much?" Damon asked. Graham shrugged, not wanting to fess up. "C'mon, there must be a reason for all of this,"

Graham opened his mouth to say something but all that came out was gags, whimpers, and muffled cries. He felt the hot tears stream down his cheeks like a never-ending waterfall. Damon's hand softly touched his cheek, but he quickly pulled away. Damon wanted to say something to break the silence, but he didn't know what. He felt Graham, shaking against him. His heart sank when Graham threw himself in his arms and cried even harder.

"Graham, you going to tell me anything now?" Damon pets his hair and pulled him closer.

"I did―I didn't," He choked on his words "I didn't mean to yell at y-you like that,"

"Gra, I'm not askin' you to say sorry, I'm askin' you to tell me what's going on," The younger man sunk his face into Damon's neck and hesitated before deciding to talk.

"I-I don't know..." He stammered

"How about this? You can start by telling me why you didn't show today, yeah?" Graham nodded in response.

"I'm h-hungover Damon," he mumbled. Damon chuckled, but soon realized how it hurt the younger man. "I'm really hungover,"

"Sorry, is that why you skipped rehearsal?" Graham shook his head 'no'. "Oh yeah? So, tell me why you skipped practice,"

The guitarist looked down at his bare toes and twisted the end of his sweater. He didin't want to seem pathetic in front of the one person he deeply cared about. But he knew that if he tried to lie, Damon would figure him out. So he took a deep breath in and let it all out. He covered his face with his hands, hiding his beet red cheeks.

"You." The word rolled off his tongue. Damon was shocked and intrigued by his answer.

"Me?" He pointed to himself, smirking.

"Yes you," Damon tilted his head "Why me?"

Graham pushed himself away from Damon and sat at the edge of his bed. "B-Because I was afraid of confronting you today. I don't, I didn't want to get hurt. Or I―I just didn't want you to see... To see how, how pathetic I am,"

Damon furrowed his eyebrows. "Oh Gra, I don't think you're pathetic. Why would you ever think that?" He scooted closer to him, reaching out of his shoulder. Graham looked back at him with tear filled eyes.

"Last night, at the pub, we had a fight and―and y-you called me a, a f-fag in front everybody," Here come the waterworks "And, I-I couldn't care t-to face you today because it's, it's just..."

Damon soon came to the realization of what Graham was trying to say "A sensitive topic for you," 

"Yeah," Graham looked away in shame. Damon silently cursed at himself. He knew Graham got angsty when this topic came up because he hasn't 'figured' himself out yet. Even though the two were in somewhat of a relationship, Damon knew that Graham still needed some time. Even in their most intimate moments.

"So that's why you've been drinking all day? And taking all those painkillers? Because of me? Graham, I was bloody drunk. And you know I didn't mean any of what I said,"

"I know but, it really hurt me. I know that you don't care what anyone says about you but I'm... fragile y'know?" He sniffed "And what you said really hurt me,"

"You still haven't answered my question," Graham turned to him, with that same melancholic look in his eyes.

"I took the painkillers because of my hangover. The wine was because I needed something to knock myself out,"

"You know very well you shouldn't be mixing medicine and alcohol Gra," Damon took his hand, gently rubbing his thumb over Graham's knuckles. "But, for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I know that it hurts you when I say things like that but, I was mad. Not to mention drunk. And seeing you like this makes me even madder because I know that I did this to you. And I want to fix this," He pulled the guitarist's hand towards his face and softly kissed each knuckle. "I want to make it up to you somehow,"

Graham smiled and blushed "Damon, it's fine," Was all that he could say before the singer pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around his waist. Their noses touched and Graham's breath hitched. "Really, it's fine," Damon rolled him over so that his guitarist was now on top of him. He leaned in closer and their lips collided. Graham knew he couldn't back away anymore. And he had to admit―He liked all this attention that he was getting. He once again put his face in the crook of his partner's neck, as the other man nibbled at his own neck. Graham accidentally let out a soft moan, grabbing Damon's attention.

"You liking this I see?" Damon chuckled. The guitarist's face grew even redder. "God, how are you not drunk Gra,"

"Shut up,"

Damon couldn't help but shower Graham with kisses everywhere from his forehead to his shoulders. These kisses weren't sloppy kisses―these kisses were affectionate, loving and full of admiration. As Damon proceeded to kiss and nibble him, Graham felt a sudden hardness in his pants. Oh fuck. He panicked and started fidgeting, avoiding eye contact with Damon. What he didn't know was that the singer was fully aware of this and chose not to say anything about it. That is―until Graham felt his pants getting wet and pulled away from him in embarrassment. The younger man sat at the edge of the bed and rubbed the bridge of his nose with both hands.

"Oh, jeez, I'm so sorry Damon, I di―"

"Stop apologizing already, what are you even saying sorry for?"

Graham turned deep red and covered his face "For y'know, what happened," Damon pretended as if he didn't know what he was talking about. "For the thing, I had in my pants! Christ,"

"I'm just teasin' ya. I know what you mean. But Gra, don't worry, I'm not mad." The singer rubbed a hand against his partner's arm "It's totally natural, you don't have to be ashamed of yourself,"

"I am not ashamed," Graham grunted, crossing his arms. Damon took advantage of this and started teasing him.

"Aw, is little Graham flustered?" The older man wrapped his arms around the guitarist and started rocking back and forth.

"Damon watch yourself, I'm totally fine,"

"Then why are you so tense?" Shit, he noticed. Graham frowned and looked away "C'mon, you can open up to me Gra,"

The younger man sighed and groaned "Because I don't know how to do this. You're so good at it but, I just keep messing everything up every time. And it doesn't help that―" He stopped talking and looked away. Damon was curious about what he wanted to say.

"That what? Tell me Gra,"

"It doesn't help that I never have done this before," He admitted

"With a bloke?"

"With anyone," Damon's eye widened as he heard his partner say those two words. Honestly he never even thought about this. He just assumed Graham had some kind of experience. But hearing this made his heart skip a beat.

"So, you've never shagged before?" He asked. Graham shook his head. "Ever?" Same answer.

The brunette fiddled with his fingers and tensed up "I know what you're going to say; 'You are a grown man and you've never shagged before? How pathetic,'" He mimicked all the people that have told him what he just said in the past.

"Not at all. I mean―you could have told me at least. I wouldn't have been pressuring you that much,"  


"What? You didn't p-pressure me at all Damon," 

"Yeah? That's nice to hear." He got off the bed and pulled Graham up with him. Damon wasn't one to do chores or clean around the house but, the guitarist really needed to tidy up a bit. "C'mon, why don't you go change while I tidy up a bit yeah?"

"Why would I need to change? These clothes came fresh out of the wash,"

"Look at your pants silly," Graham peered down and sighed.

"Oh, I see what you mean, okay," The guitarist marched towards his dresser and pulled out a clean pair of pants and exited the room. He didn't feel comfortable enough to change in front of the other man yet. In the bathroom, Graham stared at himself in the mirror. His eyes were bloodshot, puffy, wet and the bags were still there. He looked drained, tired and ghosted. His hair was a mess, it stuck out in all sorts of directions, but he didn't bother to do something about it. Graham washed his face, pulled on his pants and headed downstairs. Damon was standing by the door, with Graham coat in his hands.

"Where are we going?" The young man asked

"I'm taking you out for supper," The singer answered as he helped Graham put on his jacket. Graham smiled and blushed. "Because I want you to know that, whatever it is that we have to go through to be together, I'll be here by your side. Always." 


End file.
